¿A qué le tienen miedo tus papás cuando sales del clóset?

En muchas ocasiones (casi todas), es prácticamente imposible encontrar un buen momento o una forma oportuna de decirle a nuestros padres que nuestra orientación sexual o identidad de género no es lo que ellos tienen en mente para nosotros. Es para muchos, un tema que nos preocupa, nos acompleja y sobre todo nos hace sentir vulnerables; tememos que por decir “la verdad” perderemos el afecto o el apoyo de las personas con las que vivimos.

Sin duda, salir del clóset es un ejercicio de confrontación muy complejo y se desarrolla de modo distinto en cada familia o círculo social. Tristemente, las estadísticas confirman que en la mayoría de las ocasiones no existe una respuesta positiva de los padres al escuchar que su hijo o hija no es heterosexual. A ambos lados, nos inundan sentimientos de tristeza, miedo, preocupación, ideas fatalistas de abandono, separación o represión; incluso, en algunos casos se desarrollan dinámicas de convivencia altamente violentas no sólo en lo verbal o emocional, sino a niveles físicos, económicos o peor… pero, ¿qué piensan nuestros padres cuando reciben por primera vez la noticia?

 

Es muy común para muchos padres que la noticia les produzca una profunda pena, acompañada de sentimientos de choque, negación, rabia, culpabilidad y la sensación de haber perdido algo.

 

Estos son los 5 pensamientos más comunes de un padre cuando su hij@ sale del clóset:

 

¿QUÉ HICE MAL O EN QUÉ FALLÉ?

Nada. Al menos nada que pudiera haber “ocasionado” que alguien más no sea heterosexual. La homosexualidad no es una enfermedad, una decisión repetina o una moda o tendencia. Las personas homosexuales provienen de todo tipo de familias. Recordemos que hay gays, lesbianas, bisexuales y personas trans en todos los grupos de religión, étnicos y raciales.

 

¿AISLARÁN O AGREDIRÁN A MI HIJ@? 

Desgraciadamente, en una sociedad que aún tiene mucho trabajo por hacer en estos temas sí hay muchas probabilidades de que el entorno cotidiano como la escuela o la calle se convierta en escenarios de burla, opresión e incluso, agresiones verbales y físicas. Es por ello que el hogar no puede convertirse también en una zona de conflicto constante, pues todo ello afecta directamente la autoestima, seguida por efectos en el estado emocional como impotencia, frustración, humillación, desconfianza y depresión.

 

¿CONTRAERÁ UNA ENFERMEDAD DE TRANSMISIÓN SEXUAL?

De acuerdo con José Manuel Díaz González, integrante de la Fundación Mexicana de Dermatología (FMD), al menos 30% de los mexicanos que tienen una vida sexual activa padecen o han padecido una infección de transmisión sexual. Sin embargo, es absurdo sostener que la orientación sexual o la identidad de género de una persona sean una condición que exponga directamente a una ETS; mientras que la ignorancia, el machismo, la discriminación y los tabúes en casa en torno a la sexualidad, sí lo hacen. Es mucho mejor hablar abiertamente de estos temas para así tener las herramientas que permitan ejercer una vida sexual plena y responsable con nuestra salud física.

 

¿TENDRÁ PROBLEMAS PARA CONSEGUIR O MANTENER UN EMPLEO?

El Consejo Nacional para Prevenir la Discriminación (Conapred) afirma que el mayor número de denuncias provienen de personas con discapacidad, con alguna enfermedad, embarazadas a las que despidieron y de integrantes del colectivo LGBTTTI. Si bien ha habido avances en cuanto al ámbito de políticas públicas y fortalecimiento de las instituciones dedicadas a combatirla, aún quedan grandes desafíos para erradicar esta práctica, por lo que comenzar por el entorno familiar podría ser una buena idea.

 

¿CÓMO PODRÉ ENFRENTAR LA SITUACIÓN? ¿Y SI ALGUIEN L@ AGREDE EN FRENTE DE MI?

Con toda seguridad, en algún momento llegarán comentarios adversos, o por lo menos insensibles, de familiares, amigos o compañeros de trabajo, por ello es muy importante comenzar formar una red de apoyo dentro del núcleo familiar, en donde sus miembros se aseguren de estar informad@s para entender cómo manejar este tipo de situaciones.

 

Los prejuicios, la falta de conocimiento y el miedo a la palabra “homosexual” o “transgénero” puede alejar de nuestro lado a las personas que más queremos. Padres e hijos, caminando juntos, pueden fortalecer las relaciones familiares y comprender que la sexualidad del otro no es un impedimento para amarlo.

 

¿Es posible contribuir a la felicidad del otro, a pesar de no pensar, sentir o elegir lo mismo que él o ella?

¡Sí! Aquí un ejemplo reciente que se ha vuelto viral:

 


Con información de Nuestras hijas y nuestros hijos. Copyright 2000; Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Inc., 2006.

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